Jesus, the worst pastor ever

Jesus

Was Jesus really interested in building the church? Because, there are many times during his ministry, where it almost looks as though he pushed people away. Almost as if he were more interested in something other than gaining more followers. How sensitive was Christ to seekers? If Christ were on earth today, what kind of pastor would he be? What denomination do you think he would choose to be ordained through? Would he buy into the Mega Church model, multiple sites or would he have a small intimate congregation. Or have we strayed so far from the type of “church” our savior initiated that this line of questioning would baffle him, even break his heart.

In the sixth chapter of John, he tells us about an encounter that Christ has with a large crowd of seekers interested in Jesus, (a typical pastor’s dream scenario) they even traveled across the sea to seek after Jesus! Who cares if their motives weren’t completely pure, the point is that they were looking for Jesus, and they FOUND HIM! Amen, end of story. The only thing that would have made this story better, would have been Christ following through with the needed alter-call & sinners prayer! How could Jesus have forgotten about the sinner’s prayer?!? Why did he not he seal the deal? He had seekers, he even had finders! Eh, that’s ok Jesus, we have some great state of the art Christian Universities that can teach you the proper formula for sealing the deal.

But as the story goes in John 6, he at least allows these seekers to observe guilt-free, without requiring too much for them. It’s not like he introduced deep theological ideas and presented them with confusing teachings like communion…

What’s that? He did what? Oh no Jesus, you challenged their motives for following you? For Christ’s sake, let them just follow you for a while without demanding too much. You also told these newly following seekers that “YOU are the bread of life come down from heaven” and that they will have to eat your flesh? Not even the chosen 12 understood what the heck you were talking about. How do you expect these newcomers to stick around long enough to enjoy the benefits of community and God’s love, before confusing them… Remember Jesus, you are not a God of confusion. You cannot go around saying things like this to our potential clients, er, I mean your disciples. Jesus, you have much to learn before we can release you into any valid ministry. We cannot have you scaring off our guests before we have enough of a chance to convince them they need us, and we need them.

Ok, here’s your opportunity to clear things up, I see what you’re doing Jesus, that’s a brilliant technique! Confuse them just enough to make them think, then bring all things to a clear head and BAM, the point becomes even stronger… brilliant! Now lets bring clarity.

What? No clarity? No! Don’t go on to tell them they need to drink your blood! And eat your flesh or they have no life in you?!? Really Jesus? Great, they all just said they can’t accept your teaching. They just left… What do you mean you’re not worried about it?

Jesus, you are the wort pastor ever… letting so many disciples leave confused, never to follow you again.

He who has ears, let him hear…

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Danny Mariscal

Danny Mariscal is the man behind the posts. He and his family recently relocated to Visalia, CA.

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